The Search to be: Real.
Photo by Conor Leslie
The Search to be:
Real.
“What you think ah! What you feel now! What you know ah! To-be-Real!”~ Cheryl Lynn
“What you think ah! What you feel now! What you know ah! To-be-Real!”~ Cheryl Lynn
The Long Road Home: Personal Growth or Just a Trend?
Today, potent and seductive "elixirs" are trending in the name of personal growth. Some promise miraculous healing. But self-discovery can sometimes look like accepted narcissism, emotional detachment, or intellectualized avoidance.
Is intellectualizing the new way to feel?
The mind often tries to outpace the heart. Yet feelings—raw and messy—are at the core of true healing. The inner journey isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s a path for spiritual warriors—those unafraid to face all aspects of themselves: the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is the road to integration and adulthood.
Questions Worth Asking:
Can we truly grow without exploring the root of our suffering?
Are there shortcuts to healing?
If so, do they last?
How do we distinguish personal growth from self-absorption?
There’s no quick fix for life’s wounds. No trending high—plant, chemical, or mystical—will last long enough to resolve deep trauma. Whether it’s a plant extract or someone blowing sacred smoke in your face in the woods of Peru—it won’t stick unless you're doing the work.
Healing Isn’t a Trend
Coaches and therapists—if they’re good—can offer you a solid map back to your original self. The one before society rewrote your instincts.
The fantasy of a quick cure may offer a seductive doorway, but the real work is lifelong.
The Root of It All
Childhood pain touches everyone. Often, we relive it when we face adult challenges. If you’ve loved and lost, you know heartache. If you’ve faced adversity, you know the ache of poverty, exclusion, or rejection.
If childhood taught you to tolerate abuse, healing that legacy takes time. Integration is not linear. Even at the summit of one mountain, there will always be another to climb—and that too is part of the joy. We grow by staying curious.
No matter who’s writing the prescription for the “next big thing,” remember: you are your own fix. Healing is hard, often lonely work. It requires acknowledging what we’ve endured, what we’ve done, and what’s been done to us.
This is why the self-journey is often called a dark night of the soul—an internal battle fought alone. Jesus, Buddha, Arjuna, and countless unsung heroines knew this. Their stories remind us that the path is not about religion—it’s about self-mastery and love.
Lessons from Fairy Tales
Fairy tales are roadmaps to transformation.
Alice learned that adults don’t always know best.
Dorothy realized she didn’t need to “go anywhere” to find her answers.
Pinocchio had to battle internal and external demons to become a “real boy.”
Peter Pan? He saw the potholes of adulthood and chose to visit, not stay.
The real journey is inward. The road less traveled is long, but for those who walk it, there is a yellow brick road home—to authenticity, compassion, peace, and self-trust.
What Courage Really Means
The bold are not fearless. They feel the fear and take the first step anyway. That step reveals there’s more to life than meets the eye. Every day, the courageous rise again to fight for their truth.
A single lit match can transform a room of darkness. That’s all it takes. A flicker of hope. Those who’ve discovered this often share it—through scriptures, stories, music, or simply by walking beside others on their path.
Reflection:
What is the difference between personal growth, hedonism, and narcissism?
Is your detachment a form of healing or a sign of disconnection?
Can you tell the difference between love, anxiety, and trauma?
Are your actions self-serving, or are you in service to others?
Self-love is not self-centeredness. One is grounded in the self, the other consumed by it. If you don’t know the difference, sit in silence. Stay with yourself. Listen. The answers will come.
Personal growth isn’t about becoming more obsessed with yourself. It’s about expanding beyond yourself—into the world, into service, into love. True growth uplifts you and those around you.
Maybe this piece isn’t about you. Maybe it’s to help you better see someone close to you. In a world overloaded with information, we often struggle to discern what’s real and what’s manipulation.
Take a step back. Ask yourself:
Am I being gaslit or invited into deeper communication?
Is this advice for my growth—or a trendy opinion I’ve unconsciously accepted?
Not all guidance is good. Not all “healing” is healing. Be discerning. If it doesn’t resonate, trust your resistance.
The Daily Choice
You get to choose, every day, how to live and love.
If you’ve ever loved someone—partner, friend, pet—you know: love isn’t about self-first, except for the oxygen mask metaphor. Real love thinks of the other with the self. That’s where real intimacy lives. That’s where we all win.
Today is your day to make it a Michelangelo Day! Masterpiece! Masterpiece! Masterpiece! Painting yours may inspire someone else to paint theirs!
Paint a masterpiece of your life—and maybe help someone paint theirs.
Light that match! make that wish!