The history of others does not have to belong to you—this is an important lesson: The Horror that others bestow on you and the bad experiences with them does not have to be your lot in life…
(So don't allow the horrible lives of others to become yours.)
Every generation has heard, "History repeats itself." This can be true when we do not change the course of our childhood interpretations/misinterpretations and learn to make and create the New Story of The Life We Call Our Own. We, the adult children born from the “Whatever Syndrome’s Family Tree", do not have to carry that syndrome into a new family tree for the next generation(s). We can plant new and healthy seeds, seeds that will sprout beautiful gardens, filled with brightness and love. Deep inside of our beings, no matter the turmoil or violence we may have been raised with and endured (our private hells)—lies the invincible Thread that whispers our undeniable truth. If we can find that Thread that has been tampered with, pulled at and even broken, we can sew ourselves back into the beautiful being we were born to become.
Over the years, none of the terrible things that Well Meaning Others said would happen to me--happened. The bad things that did occur were created out of a past understanding of what I was told to believe about my life and myself. (you too.) When we unconsciously allow the old stories to replay themselves out in the present, we are not able to stop the recurrences of trauma and drama in our current lives, thus our existence becomes a perpetual state of Out of Control, (that we try to manage, nonetheless) which can leave us with paralyzing anxieties, eating disorders, all kinds of abusive relationships and an overall core dysfunctional beliefs about ourselves. These beliefs are cleverly masked and present themselves in an array of patterns. They are so deeply rooted in our psyche that we can spend our entire lifetime trying to escape the destructive, often subconscious memory pattern that prevents us from living a happy, functioning and--feeling life.
There are a variety of interpretations we carry throughout our lives that may go unidentified. Some we can become aware of, however, there are choices we make in an unconscious state that will affect decades of our lives, even when we become cognizant of them. When this happens, we need to brace ourselves and embrace the world we helped create, no matter how unpleasant it may be. When we do this, we surrender any blame and any state of "victimization", or more accurately: we free ourselves from past trauma, simply by understanding that no past has to become our present and that history can also be interpretation. With this understanding we can choose to reinterpret the past with new and mature clarity that presents positive possibilities rather than a gloomy prospect for our life.
When we realize what "bad" not to attract into our lives we literally put a halt on the recurrence of a history that cannot only destroy us, but has the potential to sabotage the future lives of unborn children. Awareness and realization does not mean we are necessarily finished with dealing with our past un-pleasantries, it means that we take full responsibility for not allowing more of the same negative situations into our current life. Directed imagination helps us to erase the horror of the past and create a vision for a happy future that is all of our birthright. (So start dreaming!)
Childhood can only decide how our destiny plays out, if we are bystanders and not active participants in the courses and paths we dare to envision and pursue. Whether we have fond memories of our childhoods or not, memory, is not the determining factor in the outcome of our adult years. Having idyllic, formidable years is no guarantee of a Happy Ending (and we all know we want--that happy ending!) What determines our "outcome" is how we deal with our daily life, without digging up the past and without chasing the future...
Could much of the confused and conflicted adult relationships we see and have be a result of unresolved trauma from childhoods? Freud, Sartre, Jung, Mary Poppins, Dorothy, Cinderella, Snow White, Hansel & Gretel and countless others might agree that our past determines much of our lives. However, traumatic memories or not—how we choose to see each day can either be catastrophic or triumphant.
And rather than dig up a past that serves no real or healthy purpose we can stay in the moment and in this moment we can discover something that creates awareness and in that aware state we can gain a glimpse into our past, see the connection, right the wrong and move on. Revisiting the past is not necessary, however, if it presents itself in the present, looking at it and casting a light on to it can heal and free us in ways we did not imagine. Remember: Even the smallest amount of light will cast out any looming darkness.
* * * * *
Sometimes The Cards you were dealt in life were stacked by Blood.
Sometimes what was supposed to be the –face-of-love, was actually the face of Terror and Fear.
But The Dealer’s time is up. (They were caught c h e a t i n g… they were caught l y i n g)
and y.o.u, yes(!) y.o.u. are in charge now:
Shuffle, Shuffle, Shuffle!
Leap out from under the old deck and deal yourself a-new-hand!
One where your chances of winning are in your favor!
(Poker Face! Poker Face! Poker Face!)
(This post is dedicated to the beautiful Miss. M... who will undoubtedly Capture this world with all of it Horror and Wonder and make it a better and richer place, because she will not allow the Nightmare of others to become--her own... y.o.u. are loved.)