Thought For The Month

On The Stage We Call Our Lives...


Remember:  we are all jewels of the Infinite.  But we are also jewels of the present and physical world and our reality is reliant on what and all we are infinitely thinking and becoming. 

(Pay attention and make yourself committed to being a deliberate thinker!)

None of us are ‘better’ than the other.  We see and interpret differently—that is all. Same paintbrushes painting personal and universal  masterpieces on a canvas we call Our Lives. 

Unity consciousness means we/all life is unified holographically.  So the images you see in your mind or dreams or in your transcendental frolicking’s are moments and collections of cosmic data specifically playing out and interpreted by y.o.u.

That-is-all (and it can be enough.) 

Remember: your ‘local’ experience and events you call your life are experiential only to you.  The Story of LIfe is but one, but we each have our own version of that story. (In sharing your story we get a glimpse of ourselves in you...)

Keep dreaming.  Keep waking up. Keep on, keeping on...

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The Attitude With Gratitude

"Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could still hold a lot of gratitude." ~ A.A. Milne--Winnie The Pooh

The very popular theme these days is to be:  grateful.  They say that the only prayer that needs to be said (or whispered) is:  Thank-You. (what a lovely thought.)

Yet, giving thanks and re-patterning our negative thoughts to positive ones can sound easy in theory, yet very difficult to practice.  Giving thanks has been a common religious and cultural theme throughout the centuries.

(How many of us on this great big planet of Horror and Wonder are conscious enough to not take for granted the gift of waking up (each day)? Of--breathing--of thinking--of being and feeling (loved)?

Sometimes we do not realize how fortunate we are until what we value has been taken away from us and still there are some of us who never know what they had even when what they had has been lost...

(We complain about most things on most days.)

Being single for over a decade and a half now, I have utilized my singleness observing couples who are supposed to be together because of their love (for-each-other) yet I see so many comfortably displaying grievances about the other rather than enjoy the love that is supposed to be (between) them.


*     *     *     *     *

When we feel loved, there is no need to complain.  Sometimes the complaining is a good thing (if it leads to positive change).  Sometimes we are just not focused on loving but give our attention to our negative distractions.  We complain about our spouses or significant others, until they are no longer "ours" to complain about.

(and then we complain--still.)

It is easy to focus on the negative when it is surrounding us at every turn.  Technology, media and our world feeds on negative news about everything that is not happy, positive or uplifting.  So many comparisons, the list is endless:  Not talented enough, not rich enough, not smart enough, not enough for others or ourselves.  The Lacks in Life and doubt in our own self-worth is a constant battle for many.  Being good enough and having enough just never seems to be--enough.

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you do not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."  ~ Epicurus

When you  hoped for a Someone To Love and then you are in the company of someone you love, remember the above Epicurus quote and you will remain in a state of gratitude for--your-love.

*     *     *     *    *

Could lack of gratitude have something to do with the fact that our brains default position is to worry and worry could be another form of focusing on what we do not have and the fear of what we have and don't want.  We focus on fear of the unknown and the constant struggle to settle the chattering mind in all of us.  If we focus on "Thank You" suddenly the chattering settles into a grateful stillness.  We remember, naturally, "Thank You" feels better than "Not Enough".

Science says that expressing gratitude will help diminish the feeling of negative thoughts.  We must occupy our thoughts with counter thoughts of gratitude and happiness, so our brains don't end up in "psychic entropy."  It takes 5-10 positive events to counter balance one negative one!

With the overriding thoughts that are in the background of our minds, the ones filled with gratitude must be louder and clearer than the subtle judgments of others and ourselves; inner complaints and criticisms about every topic imaginable.

Whether we have actual events to counter the negative ones, doesn't really matter as our brains do not know the difference from what it sees to what is actually true. (tricky huh?) We can and must train our brain's reticular activating system to what we wish to experience and we can do this simply by making a few goals and reading them a few times a day; looking at photographs or images of what is positive and what we envision for our lives is a great way to create and manifest.

(Focusing on our goals will give us a sense of positivity and that positivity will in turn remind us of all we have to be grateful for)

"Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive" ~ Hafez

Gratitude is touted today as the key to much, primarily the Law of Attraction.  But what is the Law of Attraction, really?  It is not a new idea. It does not belong to 'The New Age' for the New Age is nothing more than an awareness of what has always been.  It might be new to the western way of thinking, thus calling,  The Law of Attraction another form of, The Law of Gratitude.  Simply put:  The Laws of Nature and the laws of nature have been supplying us with its gifts since the beginning of--time.

Whatever happened along the passing of the seasons and centuries that we stopped noticing The Gifts of Nature, of ourselves or each other?  We have more to be thankful for than ever.  If we do not take notice of all that we have, soon, surely, The All Powerful One, behind that Curtain that sustains all of life--just might take everything away from us.

We are the gift that nature constantly and unconditionally provides for us.  We are Gratitude. We just need to remember to notice all that we are (and are not.)

So when that Clock is about to strike 12 and that noon train is approaching around the bend; the tracks are laden with golden bricks pointing in a Direction and your life is asking you:  Decide, decide, decide--which path will you take?  The one pointing in the direction of  Thank You?  or Not Enough?

(only Time will tell...)

(This post is dedicated to the one and only,  Goddess of Light, Violette, whose emergence  from the past brought  gratitude and appreciation to her sister "B" once trapped in Darkness...)

The Bucket List for Intimacy...

Intimacy is the fun and lightness of being.  Yet why does it seem that so many fear it?  000056660034

When relationships are solely based on a technological bond, we are left fragmented, distracted and conflicted.

 When we are not filled with the spontaneous act of face to face, heart to heart loving, seeing and feeling The Other we love-- our hearts become contradictions tangled in our minds with technological disarray and busyness eroding it.

When the heart goes unattended and the environment in which it is communing with is being seduced by the Liquid Crystal Displays of our daily lives, much of love will go unrecognized and sadly, unfelt.

Cellphones can be instrumental in conveying love in an emergency, "Love, are you ok?" "yes, but I will be late..." They are exceptionally helpful in a disaster and even can assist in saving lives.  But cellphones  are not meant as a conduit for the sole communication of serious matters of the heart of any relationship.

Yet the text messages are becoming the norm for the starting of romances, the breaking up of romances and even the reuniting of them.  Can their be a happy medium?  Can we set rules and boundaries for this rapidly new way of relating?

What kind of relationships are we hooked up to, either technologically or emotionally?  Are they positively charged and physically and emotionally uplifting?

Behind the tough exteriors of men and women today, young and old, is a sensitive, ageless and timeless center, a core that wants and even craves--real, (tangible) love.

Below is The Bucket List of Intimacy.  (May you be one who dares to traverse the magnificence of its depths.)

Intimacy is...

Surrendering to each other.

Moment by precious moment.

Being Known.

(best kind of love)

Mornings, waking up--together


(Before getting out of bed)

Whisperings in The Language

(of Together-ness)

Jumping off The Great Precipice of Life, feeling small and tall--and not being afraid!


Eyes locked (together)

Hands clasped, tightly (together)

Discovering Life's Mysteries through each other's eyes


Sharing of thoughts, fears, desires


Holding each other, closely, tenderly as if this moment is the first and the last you will have,


And in the end?

Intimacy is once again Surrendering.

The Letting Go--of love--of life--

(together).  Knowing that being alone, without The Other

is the greatest sadness of not being--



(this post is dedicated to all of my Find Me comrades who bravely dare to swim in the uncharted waters of face to face and heart to heart encounters with, The Other.)

The Natural Flow of Enlightenment

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.  Today I am wise, so I am changing myself." ~ Rumi Today our lives are filled with information overload and all kinds  of professional trainings that we have forgotten who we are, naturally.  Being authentic has turned into one more task we have to check off our many to do lists.

The busier people get the more distracted and unsettled they seem.   Our attention spans are shrinking, but what are we doing about it?  Trying to be mindful creates more anxiety because we are, again--trying.

There are schools and methods and techniques for everything imaginable and it seems that many of us grasp for all of them.  Could all this learning actually keep us from ourselves? Our Joy?


I recently went to a dharma talk on the importance of meditating and "how" to meditate.  One of the objectives of the instructor was to value the practice and not seek for an "end goal.". Even Kafka had said that if you just sit, the world will roll at your feet.  It is really that simple:  Sit. Don't get up.  Breathe.  Eventually your breath will find its natural rhythm if you don't allow your mind to interfere. (My mind interferes often...)

Many years ago, while reading Shunryu Suzuki's, "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind", I remember a similar message:  enlightenment is really our true nature.  So why do we make everything from  how and whom we love, what we eat and how we breathe so complicated?

Could enlightenment simply be knowing what it means to feel alive?

Enlightenment and mindfulness is a coming home to the place before The Confusion began.  Muddled Minds have their early stages rooted in turbulent pasts at a time when caregivers, religion and society decides much of our training and ultimately much of how we think and feel as adults.

Enlightenment is:

Happiness.  Happiness is the state of feeling alive.  Meditation gets you to that feeling.  Breathing keeps you in that feeling.  It is that simple, but not so easy to achieve.

Misery is:   Distraction.  Overthinking.  Anxiety.  Busyness.  All the things that keep us from ourselves and from  any amount of joy.

Enlightenment can be a sudden moment of clarity, a gestalt of some sort that changes our lives forever, yet it can take many painful years to unravel the accumulated clutter from our rigid and overly structured pasts.

We are collecting the patterns of our future with the routines of our days.  When we are curious about life and our world around us, we can settle our pasts and re-pattern our future with each day, naturally.

Unless we can lasso the feelings that support our thoughts, now, life can take us on a tumultuous course against our will, without ever knowing that our memories are preventing us from living richer, happier lives.

In Buddhism they suggest that we do not go digging up our pasts for we have too many pasts to glean into and it would take lifetimes to resolve each one.  Whether the Buddhist philosophy is correct or not,  I have discovered that it is more than enough work to change my old beliefs about myself and the world.

Even if there are other lifetimes, those life-times are as flimsy as our yesterdays and will only keep us from being available for our life today.  When we focus our attention on ourselves and where we need to grow, ultimately we find a reservoir of energy and love available not only for ourselves but we find giving to others is a natural expression and extension of ourselves.

When we focus on the changing of others and the changing of the world--we actually find we are too depleted to give of ourselves to anyone.

Obviously the most challenging of memories are the negative ones from our childhoods that we unconsciously haul into our adult lives.  For many of us, our past messages do weigh heavily on whether we are happy or not.  The latent background memories and voices from our pasts are what prevents us from any hope of enlightenment.

What can we do?

We can heal our pasts today, every day by committing to being happy and by changing ourselves and not worrying about the anxieties and fears that make the world go busily around.

By being happy we will know how and when to slow down.  When we are happy we seek out the silence in our day, even if it is for five minutes. Five minutes feels like eternity when you become friends with that intangible quietude and stillness--that space and place that holds the key to our soul.

So when that Clock is about to strike 12 and that noon train is approaching around the bend; the tracks are laden with golden bricks pointing in a Direction and your life is asking you:  Decide, decide, decide....what will you do?  What will you do?  Mediate or procrastinate?  Be happy or sad? (only time will tell...)

The Beauty in Belief!*

Belief can be like gratitude.  You might think you don't have much or many and then you realize that you have a great deal of beliefs that you are grateful for! I recently asked someone to list their beliefs for me.  Instead of hearing their response, I decided to list mine.  This is a good exercise to do every now and again, for as we evolve, our soul grows and  some of our beliefs may no longer hold the same truths for us.

Sometimes beliefs can be like a promise we feel we can no longer keep.  (It is ok to believe in new things...)

The below beliefs have remained consistent over the years with what I am grateful for.

I believe in Love--because love is really all there is, once  we peel away the layers of everything that is its opposite.

I believe in heaven and earth--just makes sense. The earth is below my feet and I am grateful that I can still feel the ground below them. And heaven?  For me,  heaven means there is something other than what is concrete and tangible, perhaps even--magical.

I do not see heaven as a"place" after our feet permanently leave the ground. I see heaven as the space and place that is all around us and above us.

(Just because we cannot touch something does not mean that is is not there or that we cannot feel it.)

I believe in forgiveness. Forgiveness, like love, heals as well.  Mostly forgiveness heals the forgiver.  (Sometimes it is best all around if we just forgive--ourselves.)

I believe in giving. When we give of ourselves, we become a beautiful example of what it means to be human.

I believe in equality.  With equality, there is no right or wrong way of being. We see each other at eye level, which is the Ultimate Vision.

I believe in unity. (Wow.) What a concept! United, unified, integrated, not separate--whole. You totally win The Race with that one!

I believe in faith--namely, faith in one's Self.

I believe in autonomy.  Autonomy is a wonderful thing to believe in and something worth  having as a goal.  When we are autonomous we can remain open to the views of others, yet stay true to ourselves.

I (really) believe in the first amendment---yak yak yak :)

I believe in the beauty and idea of Hope. I love the word hope! Hope to me is like a wish and a prayer.  Wishing, hoping and even praying are ways to uplift ourselves or others. ("I hope, wish, pray you feel better! I hope, wish, pray that you win that race! I hope, wish, pray you feel alive--every day!)

Who or what we pray, hope or wish to is up to us.

I believe in dreams, for without dreams and dreamers we would have no hope!  Think about it:

When we see those living out their dreams there is an excitement (or envy) inside of us. That Dreamer dared to live their dream (belief of themselves) and to watch their actualization also gives us hope for our own dreams and wishes.

I believe in action.  (even when that action is still.) Action is a great thing to believe in and to be grateful for.  Action promotes change, and without change there would only be stagnation.

I believe in Peace. (Peace reminds me of how the earth and life existed before Greed ravaged it and man forgot he was a vital part of some greater whole.

Peace reminds me of what Faith, Hope and Love will always be. (A Trilogy that can save humanity.)

* this post is dedicated to the Sorceress of Past, Present & Future. May she discover the magic in her beliefs!

The He(art) Behind Neuroscience.

Beat. Beat. Beat.

Tick, tick, tick. Think, think, think.

Feel. Feel-(Feel.)

Is there a heart behind neuroscience? One of my favorite books to peruse is The New York Times Guide To Essential Knowledge, yet most recently as I began researching this post, I noticed that some of the information from its 2007 publication is now outdated. Scientific theories and facts sometimes change, leaving one wondering:  what is consistently true? When it comes to neuroscience and the ways of the brain, must we also entrust within the science world –the care and nurturing of our hearts? Does science really know best when it comes to that feeling part of who we are? Can we entrust “evidence”, books and studies with the aspect of our deepest selves? If, some day, science can control our brain and manipulate our hearts, is that the trajectory we want to embark on as a race?

In the article,  “How Does The Brain Work?”, by Sandra Blakeslee, from the Guide To Essential Knowledge, the indication was that there were brain cells in our hearts, but wait (!) that was way back in 2007 and now current research states that neuron’s are not the same as a brain cell. (This is already too much for my romantic heart.) My interest for this post is not to confuse facts and theories, but rather to ask ourselves how we feel—if we can identify how we see life, the world and our feelings, separate from science and society, culture and religion.  (Tall order, but I think we can handle it.)

Our days are increasingly growing busier, globally and we are becoming more seduced by the lure of technology’s light beams from the pixels on our mobile devices.  Add background noises, professional and personal daily obligations and we can understand why and how we are becoming desensitized from the core of what it means to be human.  If we take a moment we might need to remind ourselves what it means—to feel. (and can we remember?)

Freud is known to have said, “Wherever I have gone, a poet has been there before me…”  

Perhaps, he too realized the value of the heart.  Neuroscience says that there is no Deity in our brain and while some theories say that there are brain cells in our hearts, they deny that the heart has feelings in the love and emotional sense.  Science talks about the heart’s complex nervous system and that it is responsible for what we poets take as a higher meaning or order to our lives.  When science suggests what is true (for now) we must remember:  Western Medicine, Western Psychology, Western Every-thing is newer than the ancient, Eastern way of healing our minds and bodies. Ancient Widsom understands how we think and feel regarding life, love—meaning.   With our new science, our new medicine, yes, we have managed to save lives but at the same time, we are destroying our planet. So if there is no “God”, certainly there is some-thing and that thing we are scientifically a part of and it is a significant part of—us.   Whether there is a God or not, what are we responsible for?

This New Age that gets such a bad rap is perhaps merely Old Wisdom that deserves more respect than it currently gets and that the “New Age” is really the birth of the Western Mind and Western Medicine.  Science does change. Einstein’s theory is being challenged now.  Brian Greene’s theory about strings being the fabic of our universe is tempting and challenges even the most evolved minds, for the very core of reality is being challenged here.  And, ahhh, yes then there are the theories and wisdom of Winnie The Pooh and one of my favorite of all time--The Little Prince!  Life is movement and with movement everything and everyone one changes. We read and we believe and we trust, and in doing so, perhaps what we need to do is question what and whom we believe, whether it is science, religion or Disney, can we relearn to believe in ourselves?

My “theory” is that there is absolutely no God in our brain, for if there was, we would never have managed to destroy our lovely, beautiful planet--a planet that we are solely responsible for its destruction.   Our Western Mind has managed in just a few short hundred years to kill all that was good.    Yet, we all know, deep within our beings that there is a Such-ness Out There and In Here and that Such-ness is the intangible part of our heart.  Take away all the science of mind and theory and we can travel back thousands and millions of years and there is a basic core that runs through living things.  Perhaps we can grapple with the extent of our nervous systems and who or what species and animal has a stronger, more complex system, but why must everything be explained?  What if we had to rely on our own internal resources, thinking and feeling?  Whom and what would we turn to then? No books, No media? No religions, No video games—no things other than:  ourselves.

In closing, our genes, our brain chemicals, combined with oxytocin and vasopressin are supposed to be responsible for whom we love.  Can hormones completely dictate how we feel and whether we have empathy or can love? Intimacy is becoming increasingly more oblique and relationships seem to have lost the vital, tangible sensitivity that made them relationships in the first place.  What is “trending” these days are “sexbots” and recent poles state that some humans actually are ok with this kind of sexual relating.   Yet, in the beginning, before fast food quickly polluted our brains so our bodies would grow too numb and sick to feel, slowly our hearts deadened and love was lost to things outside of ourselves.  Add to the list of bad diets and thoughts—air pollution, water pollution, noise pollution and corporate suppression (polluting our hearts and minds)—the human being contained every aspect of what it takes to have love be an active part of our species survival.

If we refrain from emotional and physical complacency and remain curious about what makes us tick, feel and love, rather than rely on books and "evidence",  neuroscience might have a hand in helping us understand how to heal the very parts of our minds and hearts that we are losing sight of.  Together we can intelligently thrive in a world with love as our foundation for thought and science…

February 14, 2014

This post is dedicated to the three most important human beings in my life: Four-10-19-Ninety-One, Three-25-19-Ninety-Three & Eleven-13-19-Ninety-Five.  Thank you for showing me, without words…

 Sometimes the language inside of our hearts, is too vast for a single word…

When this is the case, we scramble through our emotions and memories and attempt to pull from within our beings, that deepest place of feeling, striving to convey, in words the experiences of our hearts.  If we are to succeed at accomplishing (and allowing) this great feat, tears will rise from within that Word-less Place inside of us and coat the periphery of our eyes and we will see our world, with extra vision. Without warning we find ourselves surrendering to something much larger than we are prepared for: The capability and enormity of our heart’s capacity to LOVE, is sometimes too frightening to embrace.

When we surrender? We find a powerful release of an oxygenated life force.  Our faces, wet with tears and flushed with emotion—free this feeling of The One Word.  The One Word that expresses and embodies every emotion that matters most in our meager existence here on the great big and now fragile planet.  The contents of our hearts evoke and provoke sentiments that sometimes take-us-by-surprise and we identify this expression with the One Word called:  L O V E.

On this  Fourteenth day of February, each year, we celebrate the sentiments of our hearts, most notably with the idea of romance between lovers. Unbeknownst to some, there is another kind of romance that is equally wonderful and as fulfilling, yet not talked about in the same context:  The LOVE a mother can feel for her children.   There is a LOVE that a mother shares with her children—quietly and privately.  Between the two, LOVE illustrates and illuminates the immensity of what lies in our hearts.  Children come to us from many places and through different channels, yet they arrive, bearing gifts and lessons for us to value and learn from, if we are open to welcome what they have to offer. LOVE is transcendent—in any form and relationship.  It is wordless, except for its exression through poetry.  The LOVE of a mother and child is a power force and bond that can rarely be described, yet it can-change-the-world, because LOVE changes everything. And when we LOVE our children, in essence we LOVE the world, because some day they-will-be-its-Keeper.

*     *     *     *     *

Sometimes I feel like we Sensitive Ones are not taken seriously in the world because we make LOVE our priority.  (Imagine if everyone—did.)  The Dreamers and The Conservatives honoring, LOVE!   In the end it will be what mattered.  In the end, LOVE will be what we had, lost or sadly never knew. If our passion for each day began with: “I LOVE… my man, my woman, my children, my dogs, my career….my—life, we would set a new standard for existence.

*     *     *     *     *

Individually and together,  my life has only been enhanced by my children's presence, showing me what family is, what LOVE is.  And while I can only speak from the position of a mother, from a biological perspective LOVE is LOVE.  The bond is established whether it is a blood relation or cosmic.

*     *     *     *     *

In my mind’s memory bank, my heart has cataloged millions of snapshots, celluloid and media free, that are too rich and rare to share in any visual context. (so this post shall remain text only.) For aproximately 7,300 days I spent with three amazing, intelligent, creative and loving little beings. I watched in AWE as their little eyelashes grew in over night, fluttering just before they awoke from a dream;  their soft, pliable bones grow strong,  their tiny feet, curled up on the sheets of their crib, and the sounds and coos they made while dreaming--their recognition of their independence from me and their dependence on--my LOVE for them and their eyes, holding that gaze--of trust... 

*     *     *     *     *

No matter the form of media today, nothing will or can ever replace the tangibility of the physical or emotional touch of LOVE.  There will never be a technological replication for: feeling, yet what film and media might be able to do? Technology reminds us of what we are missing and what we need in order to survive that it will never be able to give us--no matter the high definition it tries to seduce us with.

In closing, Conor, Jack, Dylan:  you are incredible human beings that have graced my life with immeasurable and unexplainable value. I am proud to be a part of your life and look forward with great enthusiasm to see, without words the awe inspiring life you shall continue to live with nothing short of a fierce passion.

I LOVE you.


Jee-zzzzzzz-(Us): Holy-Day 2013

"...and the Grinch with his Grinch feet-ice-cold

in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so?

It comes without ribbons.

It comes without tags.

It comes without packages or bags.

And he puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.

'What if Christmas', he thought,

doesn't come from a store.  What if Christmas means a little bit more.'"

What are we celebrating again?  Every year It comes around, even the Grinch cannot keep It down…It comes, no matter what or whom tries to get in Its way, It arrives—suddenly even if we-try-to-keep-It-at-bay…and our individual beliefs make It a festivity of our wish.  We celebrate It—anyway...

This season, regardless of our histories and traditions, assumptions, prejudices and judgments, some how, something in us finds a way to be more than we are during the other months of the year. 

We hurry.  We fret and fear.  We pause.  We wonder:  What did this year bring? What did we lose?  What did we gain?  Who- have-we-become-in-the-last-twelve-months? This time of year, even in the hustle and bustle of the days, we pause, perhaps privately when no one can catch our glance over our shoulder to see, our individual joy or sadness.  Some of us, if we are lucky, will take the time to ponder what is it about this past year that we wish to bring into the coming New Year and what we would like to let go of.

 My biological history is Catholic, Italian.  My family celebrated the usual holidays:  The birth of Jesus, then the natural arrival of Santa (the two on the same night always confused me as a little girl. I was filled with questions and curiosities.  “Why? How? Where? When—are-you-sure-that- is-how-it-happened?  Really? But…”) As I grew, so did my questions—and doubts.

Christmas and Chanukah.  Actually it is Christmas that has driven the economy and Santa a bit crazy for the last few hundred years, and in more recent years, Chanukah has gotten material notoriety and contributed to the economical boost at this time of year as well.  

We are living in an awe-inspiring time and also—an era of great fear for the wellbeing of our planet and all of its inhabitants: trees, children, animals, seas and the very air we breathe are threatened for the sustaining of life and the planet. All existence is in jeopardy.  We are living in an age, where thought is recognized as things.  We are aware of that thing called “karma” and how our deeds and misdeeds affect our world and the world around us.  Are these “new” trends, phases and beliefs—really new?  Perhaps we just keep cycling old beliefs and traditions, holidays and reword them, reshape their meaning and package and “market” them according to our new age. 

The end of the year post is always my favorite to compose.  It encompasses the past twelve months and with the closing of yet another year, we open to the possibilities (again) for the New Year coming in, with its unfolding uncertainties, past, present and future.

What is the real meaning of Christmas? Who is this Santa Claus and Jesus? Could it be that Jesus was merely a Perpetual Enthusiast and Santa the epitome of Spiritual Goodness? (and if Santa is so good, why not share him with all children?) Could it be that Jesus was so uber positive that He wanted to share the core of His being, that very center that embodies each one of us?  Surely He recognized His inherent goodness that we, as humans is our birthright. (all-of-Us…)  Could His message have been to help us see what He saw in himself, in us? We and He share that  “spark” we feel whenever love is present in our close relationships.  Jesus seemed to feel that with every-One. 

What if Jesus’ message was just a humble and simple Gift to us, whether we are celebrating Chanukah or Christmas:  Don’t suffer. (Forgive.)  Be kind.  Above all else Simply:  Love.

What if Santa is just Jesus’ Understudy?  Will He come back for His standing ovation?  Will he stay away, humbly and ask all of Us, to step into His shoes or Santa’s Boots and make every day of the year a day of celebration—a re-minder of how to be good, simply because we can?


Centuries pass. Life changes. Traditions too, but there is one constant for the search for truth. 

“In all ten directions of the universe,

there is only one truth.

When we see clearly, the great teachings are the same.

What can ever be lost?  What can be attained?

If we attain something, it was there from the beginning of time.

If we lose something, it is hiding somewhere near us.

Look:  this ball in my pocket:

Can you see how priceless it is?”

Japanese Zen poet, Ryokan

Whether it is Christmas or any other holiday, we are all searching for one divine truth. How that truth manifests within our families, traditions and selves, can be personal and at the same time we can find a universal truth. This is the essence of Holy-Day/holiday and this is the (secret) value we can find in all-of-Our-Days.

What is True? What is Beautiful? What is Good?

(This Post is dedicated to the memory of Nellie. A woman far before her time. Someone who knew the value of silence and the importance of not uttering unnecessary words. And to her third son, who also knew the same values. They are remembered and their memory is valued...) * * * * *

What is life without regrets? (a life well lived.) What is a life well lived? (a life sought after.) What is an Alchemist? (An Alchemist is a Wizard.) What is a Wizard? (A wizard is anyone who is a Seeker.) What is a Seeker? (Someone who searches for Real Beauty.) What is Real Beauty? (Any-thing Good.) What is Good? (All-that-is-True...)

The Secrets of Life...

are all around us. The answers to questions, we most often, already know, but are too busy to ask. Our minds are so filled with excuses as to why we cannot relax or stop or make the time for what is important, like: look up at the sky, if you live in a city. There is (!) wonder above and in between all the buildings and rushes of people. Magic can (!) happen at a stop light. I have had some of the most memorable exchanges between co-humans while waiting for the light to turn green and then we are so engrossed in our conversation that we wait for the red light to turn green again! Instead of focusing on getting "ahead" or the bills that we sometimes struggle to pay or getting sucked into the latest media story or current events, try to take a day or two and just step outside of the routine. Go a little slower and you will discover that you actually get a lot more done. The pace that needs to be addressed is internal--that is where all the wonder and good resides. When we make that place our home, we navigate the crazy, busy, external world with greater ease. (best kept secret!) Steady that world and you will discover that time and speed only exist in the world around you and that the calm inside is where the real jewels of life reside. (dig deep and you will sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!)

The New Coward(s)

(This post is dedicated to M. Vasquez)

And on the last night of the world, the only star left in the quiet, dark sky, whispered to The New Coward’s below, “Look, look up, look up! You can do it, you can do it—you- can- do- it. I know you can, I know you can, I- know- you -can…” 

*     *     *     * 

They are The Meta Communicators of our New World. The Hider’s of life…  (and of love.) They breed in Isolation; afraid of real communication. They thrive on C h i p s & get Fat on Bytes. This is the only way They know how to feel.  (or not) They hurt?/They love/? They live?/ through The heart-less cellular world. (They are The C o w a r d s we never really see…) The New Human hiding behind T e c h n o l o g y. They forward and copy their  Hearts/Their words/ Their wounds (and too Their pain…)  Like a technological game, they cry and laugh through secondary communication. but Their tears? They-are-not(!) R e a l. The loneliness is dig-ital, yet palpable. It is cold, but immediate. (Shocking to the core, how could this be? Life is now a cyber community…) The channel from which it is received does not breathe. Why does it feel so damn sexy?  (but disappointing) Why does it feel so damn Sad?

Even if the emoticon is:  Glad. It-never-sat-tis-fies… A moment; a high, only too soon ends in A textual ‘good-bye’… But the good-bye doesn’t even come to you in the decency of any real reply. You look. You stare. You gaze (Into-this Pixel Maze.) The screen is blank and so is the heart, for nothing alive can come through a device… And you pay such a high price to protect a thing that gives you fantasy but No reality. The Intimacy is Trickery. The Trickery is technology. The dis-guise is heartless because They (These Cowards) think they feel some-thing (but that something is life-less) Yet they stay and seduce the Viewer into Believing that They are—Alive, but They are not, for their messages are not tangible And without the light to see? Where then would The Cyber Coward be? A photograph, a word keyed into a device makes not for (a relationship)------will never -su-ffice…Yet, the ‘seduction’ is Safe. The smiles behind the battery operated  stay—mesmerized and glued to who? Emoticon-You?   It is our brain that is clawing for the beating of our hearts To reach out, to touch that/whom (which) Lurks and hides behind the life-less device which has become all-of-our- Vice… The fingers; the voice—beckons and-tries-to-cry through to the touch screen but it can’t (beat) life back at us, yet It seduces us with ideas of Alive: The love is: text-u-al. or: text-you-All. What is this new feel-ing (or not!)?Emotion absence of prosody--secondary communication is versification(only with the imagination.) Sounds real. Reads real… but-it-is-not… Are we old or are we young? (we are both.) why is it acceptable-to-just-not-reply? Why have we resorted to open ended messages or technological good-byes? Digital information and cyber-communication Cellular love(?) and digital cries…

* Touch-screen tears*

* Cracked glass fears*

(Betrayal of the worse kind-)

The “No-real-Thing”= technology.  Makes us happy? makes us sad? Makes us---fucking feel (radically mad?) And no-thing really ---Shhh, shhh, shhh. Brightness is fading. Mute is on. Soon Our World as-we- know-It-will- be- All—Gone. The screen is black. The Coward’s head faced down.(still) The world is Lone-ly. No one thinks to look up at the star(s) any-more…(Ooooopss gotta go --Battery is way too low…) Xxoo :(

The Leaving...

The Leaving

He is packing his bags

(for his De-part-ure)

He is leaving Some Place

Where he has never lived.

(He’s been there his entire life…)

He does not realize that his bags have

No-thing(s) in them.

Still, he packs them—anyway.

The –same-bags-for-the-same-trips



(He has never taken the time to look

inside his suitcases to see how they held no


She is packing the same bags too. Hers are filled-over-flowing-

(with things she thinks she can take with her.)

 but she cannot.

She is stuffing in all of her beautiful and costly

(S o r r o w)

She is trying, shoving things deep into the corners of her

V a l e s e—searching

to find



so she does not


She cannot recall where she placed It.

(and it is troubling her.)


She cannot find what was never had.

They are leaving, together/behind/memories

That never existed.   Where they are going,

is Un-Clear

(They think they are being practical.)

But this flight has no

Landing Point.

There is no destination because they are not going any

Place Real…

(so when that clock is about to strike  12 and that noon train is approaching around the bend; the tracks are laden with golden bricks, pointing in a Direction and your life is asking you:  Decide, Decide, Decide...what will you do? What will you do? race for the train or the track? ;) )

The Practicality of Love

" I caught the happy virus last nightwhen I was out singing beneath the stars. It is remarkably contagious-- so kiss me." Hafiz

Science holds a theory that Romantic Love has a life span of approximately twelve months and no longer than eighteen months.

When did love become a scientific equation? Perhaps therein lies the error.  What would Rumi think or Hafiz or Dickinson?  Does love have duration?  Sometimes what we think is love is actually a symptom of something completely different.  Twelve months, eighteen months or twenty years might be how long it takes for some of us to realize that what we had was a habit or something careless, inconsiderate, hurtful or simply a matter of lust and we thought it was--something more.  Lust without love is empty and fleeting, no matter how we might try to rationalize it.  Habitual relationships can disguise themselves as romantic until we break--the habit and take some distance to look into what we thought we were feeling.  Perhaps what many people experience as romantic love is actually an attraction to something that is latently familiar and familiarity can be everything except love.

Love is personal and surprising.   It cannot be planned, organized or--learned.  When we least expect it, when we are not paying attention, that is when love happens.  That which scares us, embraces us, wholly and without warning. We want to run toward it and at the same time away from that which has reign over our hearts.  For some romantics the love fever removes even cravings for--chocolate.  The aroma of flowers and their encompassing beauty, pale in comparison--to that whom we now love.

Yet we live in a world of  "possessed" love.  Since love cannot be learned or possessed, what is it that we feel the need to control? And why?

We live in a world of "repressed" love.  since love cannot be suppressed what is it that we are trying to prevent from setting free? (Our raw exposure to our feelings?)  

We live in a world where we fear what we want and need most of all--love.

How is it that the very thing that sustains us could be--feared?

Love frightens us because it-makes-us-feel (everything.)

Flowers and chocolate are easy. (especially today!) Smell good. Taste better. (But real love is scary.)

Flowers are pleasing to the senses.
Chocolate is sweet and satisfies us without having --to expose us.
(and we can hide behind it.)
(same with sex.)
Sex is less complicated than love because we can escape through the body, where love enters our heart and weaves itself--all-the-way-to-our-mind...
Containers are most useful when empty:  cups, caldrons & The Mind.  But the heart is only useful when it is full--of-giving.  Overflowing--with love.

Our heart is vulnerable and porous.  (when opened)

(It is also practical--we see this in The End. In the end we see: Only Love Mattered.)

Our mind is "reliable"pro-tec-tive...and it is costly too. 

(Especially to our heart.)

Our mind is the greatest escape and the most reliable stealer of truth.

Do we really want to lie to ourselves?

(Don't listen to your mind--especially on Valentine's Day.

Listen to your mind, only when (your-heart-tells-you-to.)



The (Post) Holiday Season

The Season always seems to arrive and depart as a surprise to many of us.  "Where did this year go?" We often hear, but don’t we hear this--every year!? I wonder:  If our lives slowed down (just a bit) every day, perhaps we would say something different when this time of year rolls around. Maybe we would no longer think or feel, "time flies", instead we would say, "what time is it anyway?” and we would respond with a resounding, “—oh yeah, it is Now!”

Now is the only time we will ever be able to experience and even then it is so fleeting and illusory that as we try to hold on to it, it too will slip through the very fingers that try to grasp the un-graspable. We are living in an age where we are beginning to appreciate how, now, is the only time that is real.  When we are aware of the transiency of time then we can see that we have a choice in what we do with some of our “now time”.  We can laugh and be happy knowing that we have a choice in the extent of the absurdity in how crazy-busy we allow our lives to get! In fact, we-can-choose to slow down.  We can pause and revel (naturally) in right now. Yet for some of us, while we live in a “free country”, we do not feel we have any command over our day, our time or any amount of real authority over the relationships we willingly participate in; thus our lives.  It is as if our lives are as unpredictable as the weather and that Who We Are is reminiscent of Global Warming—we never know who or what to expect each day, separate from our route routines.  Our lives, and the busy-ness of them become a whirlwind of this festive season as It wraps us up into this endless state of Celebratory Chaos.

Instead of feeling as though we are being dragged and looped around into oblivion by some natural disaster, with a different perspective on our lives we can better navigate some aspects of it, to a degree.

This time of year reminds us that we can still lasso our lives and change what is not making us happy.  Yet year after festive year, many of us resist change;(makes us uncomfortable.)  Fear of change keeps many of us hostage, cocooned caterpillars only dreaming of a colorful, winged life! (Dreaming-of-a-colorful-winged-life…) While the possibility of growth is alluring for some, needing to change our ways has little if any real appeal. The smart caterpillars soon realize that without change, suffocation ensues (and all the brave, little caterpillars fight, with all their might—for Flight!)

Every year, at this post holiday time of year, it is fair to say that some of us look into what is moving our lives in an upward/forward and positive direction.  Post holiday is also when we reflect on what and all that is dragging us into that dark, unexplainable, repetitive Vortex of The Every Day Stagnation of our lives… When the Vortex is not a happy place of upward motion, modifications to our world can happen, and bring to us a brighter place of Now.  However, when we resist the necessary changes in our lives to propel us to that joy, it is usually due to the physical and intellectual inertia and fear of the necessary transition for growth.  (When we do not resist what we know needs shifting, the river of our life is a steady, more pleasant flow, rather than a tumultuous current.)

Each one of us knows, intrinsically, what prevents our Joy every day and when we settle and accept that which hinders our happiness, we feel the sadness in our hearts. We feel how we are literally blocking ourselves from living a happy existence. (and a happy existence is what we are meant to have!)  When we resist--the natural movement of life—life will eventually force us into altercation with ourselves, thus inevitable alterations within our lives will occur—sometimes when we least expect it. These altercations I have seen every so often with myself. I used to “look the other way”, when just the thought of change exhausted me, until I saw how the cycle of life is forward movement. I learned, rather harsh lessons whenever I did not move with the natural current of my life.  The unpleasant Vortex of my every-day stagnant routine, would hurl me up like a tsunami and my world and I could not resist its unraveling.  Eventually I got the hint and would heed The Calling, "Hey You, this segment of your life is not benefiting you, you need to do something about!" And so I’d let go of the trying to demand certain aspects of my life-to-go-the-unnatural-way-of-resistance, when I knew that resistance of any kind was not necessarily “the best way”.  I learned, through exhaustion, that surrender was the same as “the path with least resistance” and that path was the most natural.  We need to know what to hold on to, what to let go of (and whom) and then understand what things and events in our lives that are within our control.  When we understand this balancing act and are able to implement its teachings into a system that creates happiness, then –Life becomes a state of Flow rather than the unnatural Vortex of Resistance so many of us stay stuck in.

This is a significant time of year.  It is when we feel our most deeply--if we take the time to recognize how and if we feel at all.  (Wished for Aha Moments are summoned here!)

It is the time of year when we are our busiest and at the same time we throw ourselves with abandon into the routine of lights, sales, gift-wrapping, and the Memory-Telling-of-the-stories-of-our-lives.

It is the time of year where we Let Go of what we know we cannot cling to in the coming New Year:  Loved ones who have passed on; relationships that are more of a bad habit than they are lovingly reciprocal.  We toss out the old and bring in the new from our closets to our attics—to-our-loves.

This is the time of year when we might think:  Are we truly happy?  Even the Dali Lama had to prove that happiness has scientific benefits! (Do we always need science, statistics and media coverage to know what truths lie in all of our hearts and bodies?)

Could Christmas time and the New Year, bring out in us what we miss, what we love, what we still want, what-we-still-dare-to-dream? What-we-are-grateful-for? What meaning our life has or has not?  Could all the lights and fanfare and folly of-this-Season really be nudging us to take-a-closer-look at what and all that is important in our lives--the sub-tle-ties and memories that haunt and adorn the Christmas trees?

At this time of year isn't a resounding p a u s e in order?

It is a time when we hide Who We Truly Are and wish for that Some One Special to Un-Wrap all of us--expose us to ourselves and to them. (perhaps even to everyone.)

This is a time of year for hope and happiness and wish-ing for those we loved who have now gone, (to-come-back) just for the holidays, just for their gift of presence in our lives.


This is the time of year—we can all make a Special-Time


We can make all of our time, the time for remembering; for caring; for loving--for being; for giving and for, forgiving-of ourselves and of others.

This is A Time to RememberNow…

Beautiful Flowers ='s Our Lives

Remember: when we are born, our lives are intended to be magical. Magic, Awe-filled, In-spiring, Happy, Rich, Exciting and filled with L O V E... If, as adults our lives are less than so, then there have been fundamental Laws in the universe that have not been adhered to. When these fundamental laws have been broken, the current state of our lives is conflicted with the appearance of Beautiful Flowers, surrounded by suffocating weeds. Treacherous storms are imminent...

(and we wonder and we wonder and we wonder--how-will-we-survive?)

The goal? To not to lose sight of the Flowers or the Sun. (they are both always there, even if we cannot see them.)

Take an objective step back in your day and observe what areas of your life need trimming (or protection) So long as we breathe, possibilities are unlimited.

When we find the courage to rethink our lives, and take action, our lives not only rethink their outcomes, but we end up with a pretty amazing Garden, sunnier days and fewer storms...

Life, is not arbitrary or random, per se. Just because we do not comprehend the Higher Order and Intention of Life, does-not-mean-there-is-not--O.N.E.

The more awareness we fill with our days, it becomes incomprehensible to not see how that Higher Order exists in our every breath, our every action and within the very seeds we "randomly", unconsciously, or intentionally plant, for our lives.

So, for today, think, feel, breathe, act in accordance with the beauty you wish to see and experience in your life. Our lives can (are) become The Magnificence we all wish to become a part of.

(Sooooo, when that Clock is about to strike 12 and that noon train is approaching around the bend; the tracks are laden with golden bricks pointing in a Direction and your life is asking you: Decide, Decide, Decide...who are you going to listen to? Your heart or your mind? What will you do? What will you do? What-ever-will-you-do? You will (!) plant only Beautiful Flowers and you will grow, and you will grow, and you will grow all-the-way-in-to the very Magnificence you Seeded...The very Magnificence that you-already-are...)

Shuffle, Shuffle, Shuffle...

The history of others does not have to belong to you—this is an important lesson:  The Horror that others bestow on you and the bad experiences with them does not have to be your lot in life…


(So don't allow the horrible lives of others to become yours.)


Every generation has heard, "History repeats itself." This can be true when we do not change the course of our childhood interpretations/misinterpretations and learn to make and create the New Story of The Life We Call Our Own. We, the adult children born from the “Whatever Syndrome’s Family Tree", do not have to carry that syndrome into a new family tree for the next generation(s).   We can plant new and healthy seeds, seeds that will sprout beautiful gardens, filled with brightness and love.   Deep inside of our beings, no matter the turmoil or violence we may have been raised with and endured (our private hells)—lies the invincible Thread that whispers our undeniable truth.  If we can find that Thread that has been tampered with, pulled at and even broken, we can sew ourselves back into the beautiful being we were born to become.

Over the years, none of the terrible things that Well Meaning Others said would happen to me--happened. The bad things that did occur were created out of a past understanding of what I was told to believe about my life and myself. (you too.) When we unconsciously allow the old stories to replay themselves out in the present, we are not able to stop the recurrences of trauma and drama in our current lives, thus our existence becomes a perpetual state of Out of Control, (that we try to manage, nonetheless) which can leave us with paralyzing anxieties, eating disorders, all kinds of abusive relationships and an overall core dysfunctional beliefs about ourselves.  These beliefs are cleverly masked and present themselves in an array of patterns.  They are so deeply rooted in our psyche that we can spend our entire lifetime trying to escape the destructive, often subconscious memory pattern that prevents us from living a happy, functioning and--feeling life.

There are a variety of interpretations we carry throughout our lives that may go unidentified. Some we can become aware of, however, there are choices we make in an unconscious state that will affect decades of our lives, even when we become cognizant of them. When this happens, we need to brace ourselves and embrace the world we helped create, no matter how unpleasant it may be. When we do this, we surrender any blame and any state of "victimization", or more accurately: we free ourselves from past trauma, simply by understanding that no past has to become our present and that history can also be interpretation.  With this understanding we can choose to reinterpret the past with new and mature clarity that presents positive possibilities rather than a gloomy prospect for our life.

When we realize what "bad" not to attract into our lives we literally put a halt on the recurrence of a history that cannot only destroy us, but has the potential to sabotage the future lives of unborn children.   Awareness and realization does not mean we are necessarily finished with dealing with our past un-pleasantries, it means that we take full responsibility for not allowing more of the same negative situations into our current life.    Directed imagination helps us to erase the horror of the past and create a vision for a happy future that is all of our birthright. (So start dreaming!)

Childhood can only decide how our destiny plays out, if we are bystanders and not active participants in the courses and paths we dare to envision and pursue.  Whether we have fond memories of our childhoods or not, memory,  is not the determining factor in the outcome of our adult years. Having idyllic, formidable years is no guarantee of a Happy Ending (and we all know we want--that happy ending!) What determines our "outcome" is how we deal with our daily life, without digging up the past and without chasing the future...

Could much of the confused and conflicted adult relationships we see and have be a result of unresolved trauma from childhoods? Freud, Sartre, Jung, Mary Poppins, Dorothy, Cinderella, Snow White, Hansel & Gretel and countless others might agree that our past determines much of our lives. However, traumatic memories or not—how we choose to see each day  can either be catastrophic or triumphant.

And rather than dig up a past that serves no real or healthy purpose we can stay in the moment and in this moment we can discover something that creates awareness and in that aware state we can gain a glimpse into our past, see the connection, right the wrong and move on. Revisiting the past is not necessary, however, if it presents itself in the present, looking at it and casting a light on to it can heal and free us in ways we did not imagine.  Remember:  Even the smallest amount of light will cast out any looming darkness.


*     *     *     *    *

Sometimes The Cards you were dealt in life were stacked by Blood. 

Sometimes what was supposed to be the –face-of-love, was actually the face of Terror and Fear. 

But The Dealer’s time is up. (They were caught c h e a t i n g… they were caught  l y i n g)

and y.o.u, yes(!) y.o.u. are in charge now: 

Shuffle, Shuffle, Shuffle!

 Leap out from under the old deck and deal yourself a-new-hand!

 One where your chances of winning are in your favor!

(Poker Face! Poker Face! Poker Face!)

 (This post is dedicated to the beautiful Miss. M... who will undoubtedly Capture this world with all of it Horror and Wonder and make it a better and richer place, because she will not allow the Nightmare of others to become--her own... y.o.u. are loved.)



Awareness Saves...

(Letting Go Frees!) Life can be defined in many ways, but often we interpret our life by the relationships we have with others. Professional or personal, these relationships can leave us with questions, mixed messages, sadness, unemployment, unhappy marriages, insincere friendships, debt, etc...

Relationships are a result of conscious and unconscious choices we have made throughout our lives and when we are not happy with any one of them, we spend lifetimes trying to "re-choose" what we have erroneously chosen.  Some of these relationships  have us feeling like prisoners without a "bailout".  The list is endless of how and what we have devastatingly created with these individuals (and ourselves) that encompass our personal and professional worlds.

When we stand outside of each relationship/illusion, we see how we wrap ourselves around them, entangling ourselves in the world of others and how they "become" the definition of Who We Are--through them.  We create various  People Webs that reel our days and weeks chaotically into what sadly becomes--our lives. Before we know it, we have been spinning in this Entanglement we call our life, without knowing that The Insanity is of our own fabrication and creation!

Yet, we do have options and we can take a step outside of our days for a brief moment and we can choose to become aware--before we go crazy.

When we become aware of what is crazy, we will let the crazy go...


When we let go of all and whom is Insane (we will move on.) When we move on? we-never-look-back.

Because we do not look back? We get what lies in front of us:  The Moment. (and in this very moment we are aware. We are free--we are unencumbered...naturally)

And with freedom and awareness? We have the opportunity and option to make different, more conscious choices which in turn will  recreate a web of new relationships, filled with goodness, love and compassion. The kind of web we all want to get stuck in. (forever.)

just because...

just because we know great disappointment in our lives does not mean The Wonderful can't still happen(to us.) Just because we are afraid and have big, over-the-mountain-top fears, does not mean we will not overcome them. (maybe even today!) Just because our hearts have been broken, does not mean we cannot still... (Love) (hearts don't really break, they just spend too much time, sometimes--in the wrong heart...) Make your life great-- (just because)