This post is dedicated to the three most important human beings in my life: Four-10-19-Ninety-One, Three-25-19-Ninety-Three & Eleven-13-19-Ninety-Five. Thank you for showing me, without words…
Sometimes the language inside of our hearts, is too vast for a single word…
When this is the case, we scramble through our emotions and memories and attempt to pull from within our beings, that deepest place of feeling, striving to convey, in words the experiences of our hearts. If we are to succeed at accomplishing (and allowing) this great feat, tears will rise from within that Word-less Place inside of us and coat the periphery of our eyes and we will see our world, with extra vision. Without warning we find ourselves surrendering to something much larger than we are prepared for: The capability and enormity of our heart’s capacity to LOVE, is sometimes too frightening to embrace.
When we surrender? We find a powerful release of an oxygenated life force. Our faces, wet with tears and flushed with emotion—free this feeling of The One Word. The One Word that expresses and embodies every emotion that matters most in our meager existence here on the great big and now fragile planet. The contents of our hearts evoke and provoke sentiments that sometimes take-us-by-surprise and we identify this expression with the One Word called: L O V E.
On this Fourteenth day of February, each year, we celebrate the sentiments of our hearts, most notably with the idea of romance between lovers. Unbeknownst to some, there is another kind of romance that is equally wonderful and as fulfilling, yet not talked about in the same context: The LOVE a mother can feel for her children. There is a LOVE that a mother shares with her children—quietly and privately. Between the two, LOVE illustrates and illuminates the immensity of what lies in our hearts. Children come to us from many places and through different channels, yet they arrive, bearing gifts and lessons for us to value and learn from, if we are open to welcome what they have to offer. LOVE is transcendent—in any form and relationship. It is wordless, except for its exression through poetry. The LOVE of a mother and child is a power force and bond that can rarely be described, yet it can-change-the-world, because LOVE changes everything. And when we LOVE our children, in essence we LOVE the world, because some day they-will-be-its-Keeper.
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Sometimes I feel like we Sensitive Ones are not taken seriously in the world because we make LOVE our priority. (Imagine if everyone—did.) The Dreamers and The Conservatives honoring, LOVE! In the end it will be what mattered. In the end, LOVE will be what we had, lost or sadly never knew. If our passion for each day began with: “I LOVE… my man, my woman, my children, my dogs, my career….my—life, we would set a new standard for existence.
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Individually and together, my life has only been enhanced by my children's presence, showing me what family is, what LOVE is. And while I can only speak from the position of a mother, from a biological perspective LOVE is LOVE. The bond is established whether it is a blood relation or cosmic.
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In my mind’s memory bank, my heart has cataloged millions of snapshots, celluloid and media free, that are too rich and rare to share in any visual context. (so this post shall remain text only.) For aproximately 7,300 days I spent with three amazing, intelligent, creative and loving little beings. I watched in AWE as their little eyelashes grew in over night, fluttering just before they awoke from a dream; their soft, pliable bones grow strong, their tiny feet, curled up on the sheets of their crib, and the sounds and coos they made while dreaming--their recognition of their independence from me and their dependence on--my LOVE for them and their eyes, holding that gaze--of trust...
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No matter the form of media today, nothing will or can ever replace the tangibility of the physical or emotional touch of LOVE. There will never be a technological replication for: feeling, yet what film and media might be able to do? Technology reminds us of what we are missing and what we need in order to survive that it will never be able to give us--no matter the high definition it tries to seduce us with.
In closing, Conor, Jack, Dylan: you are incredible human beings that have graced my life with immeasurable and unexplainable value. I am proud to be a part of your life and look forward with great enthusiasm to see, without words the awe inspiring life you shall continue to live with nothing short of a fierce passion.
I LOVE you.